1.
When
life
gives
you
lemons,
make
lemonade.
But
when
life
gives
you
bruises,
make
jokes.
【#SarcasmGoals】

2.
Some
people
wear
their
emotions
on
their
sleeves,
but
I
wear
mine
on
my
face
–
literally.
【#BruisedAndAmused】

3.
Getting
punched
in
the
face
feels
like
a
kiss
from
a
fist.
【#PainIsTemporaryHumorIsPermanent】

4.
While
some
people
wear
their
scars
as
a
badge
of
honor,
I
wear
my
bruises
as
a
symbol
of
my
comedic
genius.
【#GettingPunchedNeverFeltThisGood】

5.
If
laughter
is
the
best
medicine,
then
I'm
the
doctor
of
hurt
feelings
everywhere.
【#ComedyIsMyCopOut】

6.
I
may
have
gotten
punched
in
the
face,
but
at
least
I
didn't
get
kicked
in
the
pride.
【#BetterBruisedThanEmbarrassed】

7.
Some
people
say
that
what
doesn't
kill
you
makes
you
stronger.
I
say
that
what
doesn't
kill
you
makes
for
great
comedy
material.
【#BruisedAndBlessed】

8.
A
bruise
may
fade,
but
the
memory
of
the
punch
that
caused
it
will
last
forever
–
and
so
will
the
story.
【#BruisedButNeverBroken】

9.
They
say
that
laughter
is
contagious.
I
say
that
getting
punched
in
the
face
is
even
more
infectious.
【#BruiseMeOnceShameOnYouBruiseMeTwiceShameOnMe】

10.
If
sarcasm
is
the
lowest
form
of
wit,
then
getting
hit
in
the
face
is
the
highest
form
of
comedy.
【#PunchlinesForDays】

11.
Some
people
talk
about
the
one
that
got
away.
I
talk
about
the
one
that
landed
right
on
my
face.
【#BruisesAreMyLoveLanguage】

1
2.
They
say
that
laughter
is
the
best
medicine,
but
I
say
that
getting
punched
in
the
face
is
a
close
second.
【#BruisesCanBeTherapeutic】

1
3.
It
takes
a
special
kind
of
person
to
turn
getting
hit
in
the
face
into
a
hilarious
story.
Luckily,
I'm
that
kind
of
person.
【#ComedyIsMySuperpower】

1
4.
Some
people
believe
that
violence
never
solves
anything.
I
believe
that
violence
can
solve
one
thing
–
your
next
comedy
routine.
【#BruisedAndAbusedButStillLaughing】

1
5.
If
life
is
a
punch
in
the
face,
then
I'm
the
heavyweight
champion
of
comedy.
【#KnockedDownButNeverOut】

1
6.
Getting
hit
in
the
face
is
like
a
surprise
party
–
it's
painful,
but
it
makes
for
great
stories
afterwards.
【#BruisesBuildCharacter】

1
7.
Some
people
believe
that
there's
a
thin
line
between
comedy
and
tragedy.
I
say
that
there's
an
even
thinner
line
between
getting
hit
and
getting
hilarious.
【#BruisedButNotBroken】

1
8.
When
life
gives
you
black
eyes,
make
jokes
about
it.
【#EyesOnTheFunnyPrize】

1
9.
Some
people
get
angry
when
they
get
hit.
I
get
funny.
【#HumorIsMyDefenseMechanism】

20.
If
laughter
is
the
best
medicine,
then
I'm
the
prescription
for
getting
hit
in
the
face.
【#BruisedAndAmusedUntilTheEnd】